The Negative Space (w/ Dave Ward) – issue #21: SJWs Vs. Wonder Woman’s Armpits: A Love Story.

Greetings Fellow Nerds!

So, first off I know I haven’t been as active as I should be lately, but sometimes you just have to wait for more things to happen to have something to rant about and smack with a healthy dose of reality. For the last couple months, I actually haven’t had a single thing to really gripe about here in The Negative Space, but as the seasons changed and spring has sprung, oh boy is there ever a good one to gripe about now…

The “social justice” outcry over Wonder Woman not having hairy armpits.

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Have a look at what the most recent “fuss” is all about… see anything wrong? Neither does any rational, reasonable human being.

Let me repeat that one, for those of you who think you might’ve misread what I just wrote…

THE “SOCIAL JUSTICE” OUTCRY OVER WONDER WOMAN NOT HAVING HAIRY ARMPITS.
I’ll give you reasonable adults a few minutes to let your heads stop hurting from facepalming so hard. I know I had to a few times while writing this, and I know our dear editor did as well.

Still with me? Okay, good.

So, OF COURSE this one comes from none other than the so-called “Social Justice Warrior” movement… although calling these d-bags a “movement” is a bit too much, given that these extremists rarely do anything other than whine and complain on social media, but I digress.

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…and here we have a comic book Wonder Woman with no armpit hair.

These slacktivists have been rather irritating to say the least, particularly in the realm of fandom as of late. If they’re not complaining about the race of an android character in an anime adaptation (which, for the record, happens to be the best representation of a truly strong female lead character we’ve seen in ages, but whatever), a comic book series being accurate to its source material, or god-forbid, a certain clown-makeup-clad sociopathic, evil villain being… well, a sociopathic, evil villain, they’re complaining about any number of other things and trying to take the fun out of everything. These people seemingly can’t (or at least, won’t) grasp the very simple concepts of live and let live, or leave well enough alone, and now a large handful of them have started this crap about the single greatest female comic book character of all time. No one is safe… well, unless they block all these types and stay off of Tumblr entirely (which is recommended, for the record,) but again, I digress.

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Cartoons? Nope. Still no armpit hair.

This whole thing came to a head with me after reading various other news reports and then witnessing first hand on Twitter people in absolute outrage over Wonder Woman having non-hairy underarms. Yes, if you still can’t believe people are actually doing this, go take a look around the web and see for yourselves.

First off, this is a FICTIONAL CHARACTER!  Female, yes; superhero, OH yes.  Why do you care about certain aspects of her grooming habits?? Or, fine, if you must, are you going to spark outrage over the rest of her grooming?  Her hair is all neat and brushed, even after a big fight, notice any arm or leg hair?, how about any hair peeking from her bikini line?  Shouldn’t an ancient warrior have no grooming habits at all?  After all, according to the delusion, women didn’t remove hair from their bodies until razor companies started marketing to women in the early 1900’s (which isn’t true, by the way) and of course Wonder Woman is MUCH older and can’t possibly make a different decision or learn from the history as it occurs around her. She’s supposed to look a certain way, after all, right? Give it a rest, seriously.

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…how about if her actual hair touches her armpits? will that satisfy you?

And second of all… WONDER WOMAN HAS NEVER HAD ARMPIT HAIR!
At no point, in 76 years… yes, SEVENTY SIX YEARS, throughout the Golden Age, Silver Age, Bronze Age, Modern Age, or anywhere else across every single existing medium of entertainment, has she ever had armpit hair. So, pretty please, with cruelty-free, non GMO, low-calorie stevia on top… shut the hell up!

While this is just the most recent example, and only a symptom of a much larger disease, these same idiots will find anything to get online and start some kind of ruckus over, including in fandom, which is sad.  Fandom is supposed to be all-inclusive.  We are all nerds, more of us than not face (or have in the past faced) some kind of adversity for being a nerd, and staying true to what we are.  Being an asinine “SJW” only serves to drive an even bigger wedge between us – even more so than corporate takeovers and bad interpretations of fan classics. We’re supposed to be a complete community, and we’ve come so far together already as far as not only being accepted by the mainstream, but even thriving in it.

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The iconic Lynda Carter? Nope. Not her either. And if this amazing woman is wrong, who even wants to be right??

Stay together people. If you like what you watch, great; if you don’t like what you see, base it on the content of the story, or the way the film was put together.  Complaining about a woman who shaves body hair is shaming. Just as much as it was shaming when people complained about Wonder Woman not being skinny enough, or fat enough, or whatever body shape they thought she should be. And it’s JUST AS MUCH SHAMING AS ANY OTHER TYPE. OF SHAMING Period.  And speaking of shaming, shame on all of you who’ve been raising a stink about this for being shallow and idiotic.

Here’s a fun idea… how about put your big person pants on, and get over yourselves.

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Hmm… guess an ultra-badass DEMIGOD can groom herself any way she wants!

Of course, no one who actually believes the crap I’m complaining about will ever change their minds, or probably even read this article anyway, so whatever, go ahead and complain about how a fictional superheroine grooms herself. Maybe her movie will bomb at the box office… and then maybe you can say it was her own fault because of how she looked, right? Either way, I’ll be ignoring you all… right along with every other sane, reasonable person on the planet.

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Once again… Amen, Rick and Morty… AMEN.

This is Dave Ward, and you have just warped through The Negative Space. 

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-Dave Ward
First Ambassador: Federation Starship Nerd Nation
@DaveWard1279

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Please Note: the views and opinions expressed by Mr. Ward are entirely his own and do not necessarily reflect those of Nerd Nation Magazine, our sponsors, or anyone else, for that matter. This is an opinion column, and is intended for entertainment purposes only, so please don’t be a d-bag and try to sue anyone over the stuff he writes. If it offends and/or infuriates, we encourage you to just go read something else… preferably right here on Nerd Nation!

 

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